Expectations

I want to talk for a moment on expectations. "Fairly ironic," you might say, "for someone that stopped writing in the blog two years ago." And while you might be correct if you had indeed said that, since it's my blog, I totally get to pick the topic regardless of your hypothetical snarky comment. 

Expectations can be a difficult thing to deal with. On the one hand, it means someone thinks highly enough of you to anticipate a specific result from your actions. On the other hand, there is also an added pressure on you to meet those expectations, which can cause emotional damage if we fall short. This can be even more detrimental if the failure happens when the expectation is placed on us by ourselves.

Two weeks ago, I was in a pretty severe accident. I was hit hard enough to the head that I don't actually remember anything that happened, but let me set up the situation first. My name is Brett and I've been an overweight guy all my life. It goes back as far as Grade school, where my nickname was Big G. It's just always been part of who I was. Through the years, I had become emotionally equipped to handle it, but it was always a deeply affecting subject  for me.


At the beginning of June, though, after a particularly unpleasant dating experience (it wasn't even a date, weirdly), something possessed me. I had attempted losing weight in the past (see previous entries in this very blog), but this was different. It happened at a time that I felt I had very little power over what was happening in my life and I needed to get things under control somehow. So, with my brother Blaine in full support, we started doing the Power 90 workouts (which are the precursor to P90X, the famous hardcore workout) every night. But this wasn't enough for me. I was done being overweight.  I've never really known what it was like to not be embarrassed of my body, and I was going to find out. I was, to put it dramatically, driven. So, when we decided to do this, I set my goal; an expectation. I was going to be under 300 pounds by July. 9 pounds in 4 weeks was not going to be easy, but that was my goal. To achieve this, I was not only going to work out every night with my brother, but I was also going to alternate between running and biking every morning around the lake near my house (about 4 miles around) as well as stay to a 2,200 calorie a day diet. I knew weighing my self every week was one of my weaknesses in the past (any time that I would not lose an amount equal to the effort that I put in that week, I would get really bummed out and stop working out). To compensate for this, after I weighed myself to start out (309 lbs), I put the scale in the closet and wasn't going to use it until the end of the first month.

So, away I went with three sheets to the wind, switching between running and bicycling in the mornings, doing Power 90 in the evenings, and focusing completely on weight loss. Working out twice a day was certainly rough, but it felt right. I wasn't sure if I was losing any weight, but I had a lot more energy, my pants fit a little looser, I was noticeably improving my stamina each day, and I actually started looking forward to my workouts. I had been doing this for just over two weeks and was feeling really good about where I was. So I went out the next morning for my daily bike ride with enthusiasm. I got on my bike, left my garage, and that is the last thing that I remember.

I woke up in the Emergency Room surrounded by 12 doctors, more confused that I have ever felt in my life. My head hurt, it was painful to breathe, and I couldn't form words. Over the next few hours, I'm told I came in and out of consciousnesses, but I don't remember anything. I had fractured ribs, a broken collar bone, a metric ton of stitches in my head, and road rash over a significant portion of my body. Apparently, from reading the accident report some weeks later, someone found me on the paved bike trail around the lake and called 911. No one, it seems, saw the accident happen, they just found me on the sidewalk. To this day I still have no idea what actually happened. I'm just going to assume ninjas.

As terrifying as this experience has been, I don't know if I can ever properly express how grateful I am to my family and friends during this time. I have seriously been blessed to know some of the best caliber of people on the planet. Even a simple, quick note on Facebook from someone I haven't spoken with since High School did more to lift my spirit than I can say. It was a tough time that was made easy because of amazing people.

While I was in the hospital, I had a lot of time to think. All things considered, I am incredibly grateful that it happened. Life was suddenly put into stark perspective. I was beyond lucky to even be alive. I met many incredible people that I might not have otherwise had the chance to meet and every one of them, whether they knew it or not, taught me things about myself and the amazing resilience of the human spirit. I was able to reevaluate what my goals (both in fitness and in life), had been, and what they should be. All that plus I got a sweet cane out of it.

Once I got out of the hospital, I was told it would take about 6 weeks to fully recover. Though I was recovering, I still had this end of the month weigh in over my head. A silly thought, I know, considering what had happened. But, truth be told, what I was really afraid of losing what taken me years to gain: desire. Everything that I was had been focused on a goal that now, due to circumstances beyond my control, was out of reach. It was disheartening, and my expectations for what I could accomplish fell. I did everything that was within my control over the next week to aid in the weight loss (which was limited to sticking to the diet and walking for a maximum of 10 min each day due to the injuries), but I did not expect to get anywhere near the 300 pound mark.

So, with the beginning of July here, it was with much trepidation that I stepped on the scale. My expectations  were set very low. I actually assumed that I had gained weight, due to how limited my movement had been these past few weeks. While the scale calculated my weight, I looked up at the mirror, resigned my self to my low expectations, and with a sigh, looked back down. I weighed 293 lbs.

Wait, that didn't sound right. I stepped off, reset the scale, and checked again. 293. It took a moment for this to process for me. This not only meant a 16 pound weight loss for the month, but it marked for me a much more important point. This is the first time since High School that I weighed less that 300 pounds, and I even though that was the goal all along, I wasn't really prepared for the possibility of success. As stupid as it sounds, I weighed myself twice more, just to make sure, smiling the whole time. Even through the excruciating pain (I don't know if you've ever sneezed with a broken collar bone and several cracked ribs, but I would say "pass" on that experience, if at all possible), I couldn't wipe that stupid grin off my face all day. Though in the grand scheme of things I still have a long way to go, it's the proudest I've been in a long time, made ever better because of the people I was able to share it with, both new friends and old.

So, what's the plan now? Aside from continuing to heal over the next few weeks (I'm still rather sore in place that I didn't know I had), I'm going to keep up what I can of my healthy lifestyle, transitioning back into exercising once I'm able to. If my time in the hospital taught me anything, it's that I need to be grateful for everything I have and to express that as often as I can. I also hope to, should I heal quickly, participate in my first 5k at the beginning of August (Link here, for anyone interested). Finally, I plan to, as my new friend from the hospital John taught me, smile as much as I can because hey, why not? And that, I feel, is a pretty good expectation to have.

Resumed

I need to apologize. I promised, when I started this blog, that I would write at least once a week as part of being accountable for my own weight loss. As you can easily tell, I did not follow through on this. So what happened? The short answer is pretty straight forward. I stopped exercising, stopped eating properly, and stopped losing weight. In fact, I gained back much of the weight that I had lost, I'm ashamed to say.

These past few weeks, I have been working hard to get back to where I was when I left off. As of last Monday, May 24th, I’m back to 322.2. I’m going to keep my weigh in day on Monday, since I’ll be less likely to mess up over the weekend. So, tomorrow, we'll see just how "back into the swing" of things I really am. I aiming for 1-2 lbs per week. Any more than that is pretty unrealistic, in my opinion. Yeah, I've had weeks in the past that I lost much more than that, but I never expected to lose that much. If I can lose 1.5 lbs per week, then by this time next year, I'll be down to 244. And I'm more than OK with that.

Three sheets to the wind, right?

Monday, Rainy Monday

It took me longer than I thought it would to get back to this, and while my "Apology for not writing in so long/What I've been up to" post is still coming, I wanted to write a quick note about what a great day I had today.

A little background. I've been running (well, walking/jogging, if we're all being honest) at least 5 times a week around a lake nearby my house for the past few weeks. I figured that from my front door, around the lake, and back to my front door was about 4 miles. When I first started, it took 1 hour and 25 minutes. Slow, I know, but if I was fit, I wouldn't be writing a blog about losing weight, would I? Over the past two weeks, I had gotten it down to 1 hour and 2 minutes, with my next goal to get it under one hour.

Today, like most Mondays, was a rough day at work and by the time I got home, it was really gray and slightly drizzling. I had no desire to go running at all, ready to just sit down and watch something that required zero brain power. After some internal debate, I decided that I needed to go. If I said no today, I would have an excuse next time to not exercise. And excuses was one of the reasons I am already the size that I am. So, I changed into my shorts and a hoodie (it was still drizzling a bit) and put on my running shoes. Fully planning on it being miserable, I decided that I was just going to walk the route today.

Stepping out into the dusk, my mood switched almost instantly. I immediately felt good. The air was crisp and the misting rain beaded on my face. Feeling a slight boost in energy, I decided to put in a little effort as I started the 4 mile trek. As I went on, I felt better and better, pushing just a little more every few minutes. Then, about a third of the way around the lake, it started to rain like the dickens. Out of nowhere, it was suddenly as close to a downpour as you could get without actually calling it a downpour. The few brave souls that were also out at the lake scattered like rabbits. I was about to turn around myself when I remembered the reason I came out. If I stopped then, I would have an excuse to stop next time. So I kept going through the pouring rain.

There I was. The lone soldier. My hoodie weighed about 30 lbs more due to soaking in the water. AC/DC blasting through my iPod. Muscles rippling in the cold wind. Focus beyond what mortal men are capable of. One Man. One Desire. Coming this summer from Paramount Pictures.

I'm done.

Anyway, everything about the situation said that I should be miserable, but as weird as this sounds, I realized that I was not just enjoying it, but that I was having the time of my life. I just felt GOOD to be out there, soaked through all my clothing, and running my tired, out of shape heart out. I stopped to enjoy the scene, rain falling on the lake with Flogging Molly playing quite loudly in my earphones (Within a Mile of Home - Currently the most played song on my iPod). I felt better than I had in a long time. I pushed hard the rest of the way home, loving every step. By the time I got back to my house, the rain had pulled back into a drizzle.

End of the day, it's amazing how a quick exercise can change your mood. I ending up finishing at 55:34, completing my goal under the hour mark as well as beating my previous record by 7 minutes. But the best part about this whole thing is that next time, I won't have an excuse to not go exercise.

Beginnings...Again

What's that, you say? This blog is starting up again? Even I don't believe it. Stay tuned...

Back in the Saddle

Alright, so it's no secret that I've been somewhat...stagnant in my weight loss recently. No one is more aware of this than I am, so this past week I really put in a solid effort. I had a small goal to try to hit 321 this week, losing three pounds and getting back to keeping that shiny graph to the right moving south. So, feeling pretty optimistic that I just might hit that loss of three pounds, imagine my shock when I step up and see this:

316.6

...

Wait, what? I stepped back on the scale, thinking that can't be right. 316.6. Seriously?! 7.4 pounds lost last week?! That's more than a pound a day! Woohoo! Gotta admit, it's bee a while since I've felt this good. As a matter of fact, I think I'm feeling good enough to take on one of my goals. No, not the ricecake. Stop kidding yourself. I'm going to go hike to the top of Timpanogos Mountain either this week or next (probably next since this week in nuts at work. 60 hour work weeks are fun.) Let's keep this rolling stone moving, so that it can get the early worm! Or wait, that's not it. Umm..Two in the bird is worth ...uhh...three in the...umm... You know what? I think I'll just try and stay away from the motivation catchphrases. There's a reason why I don't work for Hallmark.

Car Shopping = The Devil

I finally, FINALLY found my car and bought it! Words cannot begin to express how happy I am. And not because I love my new car (which I do), but because I don't have to keep shopping for cars. That right there is worth the price of admission. Life...is good.

So, immediately after I purchased my car, we (Me, my brother Blaine, and my two cousins, Tyler and Jordan) took it for a quick test drive down to San Diego (we all live in the Salt Lake City, Utah area). Though it was an incredibly fun weekend (I got far too much sun, which is fine if you like your Brett extra crispy), I unsurprisingly ate nothing but foods that are normally associated with road trips: Fast food, sodas, burgers, all sorts of sugary junk food that comes in a pouch, ect. I had a perfect opportunity to show that you can even eat healthy on a road trip, but I blew it, and paid for it. Stepping onto the scale this morning I got another ugly number:

324.0

Ugh. This car shopping thing (and subsequent vacation) really messed up my momentum. Alright, no more excuses. Time to refocus my attention and get back to work.

LIAR!

Wow. I can't believe how long it's been since I posted. One of my goals when starting this blog was to write at least once a week, and there has been some serious failure on that front. Can I change the past? Not without a flux capacitor, and since I can't seem to find one on sale anywhere (they're fairly expensive), it seems that all I can do is offer an apology. I'm sorry and I will do my best to make sure that there are no further weeks without an update.

As to my weigh ins and what I have been up to, they correlate quite a bit. Let me show you:

6/22/09: 321.0

6/29/09: 323.0

7/6/09: 322.4

Not pretty, I know. Not to use this as an excuse (I've been making excuses about my weight for some time now), but these past few weeks have been an incredible stress roller coaster, one in which you get nauseous on the first turn and throw up, but the ride operator thinks it's funny to keep sending you though over and over again without giving you the chance to get off. Kind of. You see, I've been shopping for a new car. This sounds like a good idea initially. When you first decide to go car shopping, you will think to yourself, "Hey Self! This is going to be so fun, picking a new car! It'll be way easy and people will be nice to you and you can test drive a bunch of different cars to see what you like and the tooth fairy exists and you can even pick whatever color you want!" Do not listen to yourself when you say this because you are a liar. Shopping for a new car will destroy your soul; your very will to live. Everyday I got off work, I would stare at the computer for hours, HOURS, trying to find something that fit what I needed out of my new car. I looked at so many cars that I have the basic Craigslist page outline permanently burned into my retinas. Have you ever stared at a computer screen for so long that you can actually feel your eyes internally bleeding? I now have. On the upside, I think I finally found the car and we are in the process of getting everything signed. It's almost too much to hope for to think that this nightmare will soon be over. If it does all go through, I'll post some pics for you, even though it has nothing to do with weight loss. Try and stop me! You totally can't!

So, to review: Flux Capacitor, vomit, Tooth Fairy, soul stealing, Craigslist, internal bleeding. Did I miss anything?

No Weigh!

So, I'm all nervous about weighing in today. Mainly because I was denied my first 20 pounds lost marker last week. No, not denied. Cheated out of, more like. Or swindled from, if you prefer. I can keep going with these, but nobody wants that. On to the scale we go.

319.4

Booya! Suck it, Last Week! 4.6 pounds! That puts me at 20.6 pounds lost in 8 weeks. Which means that I have just under 10 weeks to lose 19.4 pounds and hit my goal of being below 300 before August 21st. I totally got this.

Monday Comes a Bit Late This Week

Sorry for the delay. I guess the idea that bad news travels faster than good news is a lie. Here's what the scale had to say to me:

324.

I knew getting into this that there would be weeks where I would not only not lose any weight, but in all likely hood gain some back, but knowing that beforehand doesn't soften the blow any. I gained almost two pounds. Lame.

Either way, I'm going to hit it particularly hard this week because I have that much more to lose if I'm to hit that first 20 pounds lost marker this next Monday.

It's Monday Morning. Do You Know Where Your 'Weigh In' Is?

It's Monday again. Here we go, onto the scale:

322.2

Down 1 and 1/2 pounds. Not terrible. I was actually really worried because this week has been so incredibly stressful, both at work and at home, that I wouldn't have been surprised if I had gained 5 pounds. I won't go way into it, but basically a person a work quit without warning, which hoses me over, and I got sick over the weekend (still not feeling well at all), which can't really happen because I need to be at work since there is no one else.

Regardless, I'm coming up this next week on my first little mini goal. If I can lose 2.2 pounds by next Monday, I'll have lost 20 since I started. And if I stay consistent, then I'll hit my goal of being below 300 by August 21, no sweat! Well, quite a bit of sweat, actually, but you know what I mean...

Monday Weigh In

Let me start by first wishing everybody a happy Memorial Day! Nothing is better than taking a Monday off to spend with friends and family while remembering loved ones that are no longer with us. That is, of course, unless you are stuck in a cubicle while the rest of the free world enjoys NOT being at work.

Regardless, I do have something to smile about today because what did I see when I stepped on the scale this morning?

323.8

I was down just over 4 pounds this week, which is amazing considering that it was rough finding time to exercise this week (see last post). So, I guess it's a pretty good day after all. Even if I can only enjoy it from my cubicle prison.

Making it Automatic

Let me start off by saying that this has been a rough week for me. I wasn't exercising very much, although I did stay very close to my diet. (On a side note, one thing that I am finding interesting is that I have no problem with the diet. I'm constantly thinking of everything that I eat in terms of how many calories it is and what food give me energy instead of which ones taste the best. I guess that's a good thing.) However, a busy week both at work and at home made it tough to get that exercising in. I'm not making any excuses because I am the only one to blame for any shortcomings. I realized this about halfway through this week and committed myself to doing everything that I can to make the latter part of this diet/exercise plan as automatic as the first half has become for me. This whole thing isn't easy, and I'm learning that the hard way.

Monday(ish) Weigh In

Sorry I'm a bit late this week in posting. I try to have these posted on Mondays, but sometimes the planets just don't align. Anyway, enough with the excuses. Stepping on to the scale, I'm pretty happy to see this number staring back at me:

328

I lost 2 and 1/2 pounds last week. Not too shabby! And while that is great news, I'm happy to report that I also have some arguably better news: I've dropped two belt notches since I've started losing weight. Booya! Also, it seems that my clothes are starting to feel a lot looser, too. Overall, it feels like a pretty good start to the week.

Anybody know what time it is?

So, it's Monday again, which means it's time for that time of the week. I didn't have the greatest week as I missed a few workout sessions and had a big meal yesterday for Mother's Day with my family, so I'm a bit worries as I step on the scale.

330.4

Hey! The scale is moving in the right direction! Granted, it's not the numbers that I've been seeing so far, but a pound lost is a pound lost. It'd be pretty easy to get down on myself for going from losing 5 pounds in a week to only 1 the next, but I'm still well ahead schedule for my goal. I'll just have to redouble my efforts for the next week.

The Plan

I've had a few people ask me what it is that I'm doing as my weight loss program, so I thought I'd throw up a post with the info. The 411. The skinny, if you will.

First up is the diet. I'm sticking to a 2000 calorie a day diet that includes about 5 to 6 smaller meals a day. I try to have 5 fruit and/or vegetable servings a day as well as a lot of protein. What I've noticed is that sticking to a diet is all about preparation. I take my lunch and several snacks to work mainly because it's a lot harder to grab a burger for lunch when you already have lunch made. It help cut down on the impulse eating. Plus, it's also a whole lot cheaper.

Moving on to exercising. Now, here is where it's going to get a bit embarrassing. I've been using two exercise DVD's for my main workout, which carries with it certain stigmas. Whenever I heard about "working out" to an exercise video, I would think of some old person wearing spandex and sweat bands sitting in front of a TV watching aerobics with 80s music playing in the background. And not the good 80s music. But when I started this process, I decided I would give one of these a shot. I went with The Biggest Loser: Cardio Max DVD (http://www.amazon.com/Biggest-Loser-Workout-Cardio-Max/dp/B000WEVGHA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1241799367&sr=8-1). I did this for two reasons. First off, The Biggest Loser kind of specializes in getting people that need to lose weight to lose weight. Also, most everything that I've read says that you need to do cardio to lose the pounds, so going with a name like Cardio Max HAS to be good, right? Because it takes it to the MAXimum? Anybody coming with me on that?

So, I bought the DVD, took it into my room and locked the door. The last thing I wanted was someone walking in and seeing me exercising with a video. I fully realize how silly people look while they are doing these and I'm already self conscious as it is. But as I started going along with it, I found that it really was an incredible workout. They recommended that you have a few weights for the workout, so after the first time, I went and bought 2 ten pound weights. It's a half hour workout and I do this about 5 times a week. And it feels pretty good.

So, there it is. Yes, I use those silly exercise videos. And contrary to popular (read: my) belief, it works. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my spandex and Kris Kross tapes.

Monday Morning Weigh In

So, I've decided that Monday will be the days that I weigh myself in. I figure once a week is a solid amount of time for me to get a feel for how I'm progressing. But we're not here for explanations. Let's step on the scale and see what's up.

331.4

!

I lost just over 5 pounds this week! Booya! Seems like I'm doing something right. I just wish I knew what it was.

Getting into a Rhythm

Just a quick post today. I'm starting to get into this rhythm for my workouts. Not during the exercising itself, but rather the anticipation of it. Let me explain.

I've never been an early morning person, so I do all of my exercising at night, usually around 9:30 or so. Late, I know, but I sleep so much better when I am dead. But something interesting has happened within the past few days. I'm finding that my body (Not me, mind you, but my body) is starting to crave exercising. I don't know how else to explain it. My brain will tell me that it's too late or that I'm too tired to work out (What the? I get tired, man! Give me a break! -Brain), but as it gets closer to 9:30, I find myself subconsciously setting aside or quickly finishing anything that would delay my workout. It's a good thing, sure, but I just wish my body would consult me first before making any decisions. You hear me, Body? No tattoos!

First Weigh In

So here I am, one week into my new diet and exercise program and I facing a crucial moment. I'm standing about two feet away from the scale and am paralyzed with fear. This shouldn't be an issue. I should be able to just step on that thing to have it pass judgment on me and be done with it.

Allow me to give you a bit of context as to why this is so difficult for me. The last time I seriously tried to lose weight, I had been working out and eating healthier for nearly a month without weighing myself. I figured that as long as I kept going, then the weight would just come off. Well, when I finally stepped on the scale, it was not pretty. Not only had I not lost any weight, but I had gained a pound. All that work and all I had to show for it was that I was bigger than I was when I started. Needless to say, it was devastating. I stopped exercising and got back into my poor eating habits. And here we are again. Me, staring at the scale. It staring coldly back at me. Alright, scale. Let's do this.

I turn it on and step up. The numbers dancing back and forth, as though it already knew the answer and were just taunting me. The numbers stopped moving. I looked at the display.

336.5 pounds. I've lost 3.5 pounds this week! That's about 1.5 pounds more than I needed to keep on track for my under 300 lbs goal I set (see last post). I step off the scale and do a little dance.

Victory.

Goals

So, now that I've (somewhat) settled into a (somewhat) regular exercise routine, I do want to share some of my short and long term goals.







Short Term Goals:

• Be under 300 pounds by August 21, 2009 (which comes to a little over 2 pounds a week for 18 weeks)
• Stop drinking carbonated drinks
• Write at least one post a week on this blog for accountability
• Hike to the top of Timpanogos Mountain before the end of this Summer

Long Term Goals:

• Get below 200 pounds
• Run a full marathon
• Eat a rice cake (This one may take a while...)

This is just a short list of what I hope to accomplish. Most of them are pretty self explanatory, but the one that I want to talk about specifically is running a full marathon.

Usually, telling someone that you'd like to run in a marathon got you a response like: "Why on earth would you want to do something like that? Why would you subject your body to such an horrifying amount of pain? 26.2 miles just to prove that your healthy? I'm going to go watch Oprah." I know because I used to say that to people. Except for the Oprah part. I swear. (He's lying to you right now. -Brain) Now that I'm at a point in my life where I've set this goal, I realized that the answer is a bit more complex than "proving that I'm healthy."

Like I had mentioned in my previous posts, I've always been a fairly large guy. To me, running a marathon not only seemed to be the pinnacle of athleticism, but it also represented something that, in my mind, was completely unachievable. Something like that was so far out of my reach that I would never be physically able to do it. I had impressed this point so much into my brain (Thanks a lot. -Brain) that when I initially made my list of goals, I refused to put it down because it was so ridiculous. I might as well have put "perform open heart surgery while bowling a 300" on my list. As weird as it sounds, I had to do a lot of convincing to myself before I would even consider it. But as I started to write this post, it occurred to me that the whole point of goals is to strive toward a place that you are currently not at. This isn't about being fit enough to be able to run a marathon, it's about setting a nearly impossible goal and putting everything I am into achieving it. So, while it may take years, I will accomplish this goal. And I expect you all to hold me to it. And just so we're clear, I'm talking about the marathon, not the rice cake.

Brett vs. His Brain

"Hello, Brett. What are you up to today?"

"Oh hi, Brain. I'm just about to start my first workout."

"Nice! So, you're just going to get right to it then, huh?"

"Yup. Why, something wrong?"

"Can I ask you when the last time you worked out was?"

"We both know the answer to that, Brain. It's been a while."

"Right. And don't you think that it might be a good idea to stretch before your workout?"

"What are you getting at? Do you think that I can't handle a simple workout without doing sissy stretching beforehand?"

"You don't really understand what stretching is for, do you Brett?"

"I understand enough to know that you really burn calories during the actual workout, so I'm getting right to the good stuff."

"Brett, if you just take two minutes to warm up, you could avoid any..."

"I totally got this, so just chill out."

"This is going to be a disaster, I just know it."

"Shut it, Brain! Let's do this!"

.....One Workout Later.....

"How is it going, Brett?"

"Really good! I just finished and I feel great! I'm going to go take a shower."

"Wait, you're not going to do any cooldowns before you finish?"

"Didn't you hear me, Brain? I am finished. What good will the cooldown do me if I've already done the hard stuff?"

"Well, for starters, it will stretch out any...Where are you going?!"

"I told you, to take a shower."

"Fine. Don't listen to me."

"I would if you knew what you were talking about."

"I hate you so much right now."

.....The Next Day.....

"And how are you feeling today, Brett?"

"Holy crap, Brain! I am in such an incredible amount of pain right now!"

"Pain?"

"Yeah. I can barely move. I'm sore in so many places..."

"Interesting. And what do you think caused this pain?"

"I'm being punished for trying to get healthy."

"That's certainly a theory...or it may be that your muscles weren't properly stretched out before or after the workout yesterday. Remember how I told you to do that?"

"Seriously, Brain, I'm in a lot of pain here and could use some help."

"Alright, alright. All you need to do is swallow this big "I told you so" pill as well as some IB prophin."

"I hate you so much right now."