Brett vs. His Brain

"Hello, Brett. What are you up to today?"

"Oh hi, Brain. I'm just about to start my first workout."

"Nice! So, you're just going to get right to it then, huh?"

"Yup. Why, something wrong?"

"Can I ask you when the last time you worked out was?"

"We both know the answer to that, Brain. It's been a while."

"Right. And don't you think that it might be a good idea to stretch before your workout?"

"What are you getting at? Do you think that I can't handle a simple workout without doing sissy stretching beforehand?"

"You don't really understand what stretching is for, do you Brett?"

"I understand enough to know that you really burn calories during the actual workout, so I'm getting right to the good stuff."

"Brett, if you just take two minutes to warm up, you could avoid any..."

"I totally got this, so just chill out."

"This is going to be a disaster, I just know it."

"Shut it, Brain! Let's do this!"

.....One Workout Later.....

"How is it going, Brett?"

"Really good! I just finished and I feel great! I'm going to go take a shower."

"Wait, you're not going to do any cooldowns before you finish?"

"Didn't you hear me, Brain? I am finished. What good will the cooldown do me if I've already done the hard stuff?"

"Well, for starters, it will stretch out any...Where are you going?!"

"I told you, to take a shower."

"Fine. Don't listen to me."

"I would if you knew what you were talking about."

"I hate you so much right now."

.....The Next Day.....

"And how are you feeling today, Brett?"

"Holy crap, Brain! I am in such an incredible amount of pain right now!"

"Pain?"

"Yeah. I can barely move. I'm sore in so many places..."

"Interesting. And what do you think caused this pain?"

"I'm being punished for trying to get healthy."

"That's certainly a theory...or it may be that your muscles weren't properly stretched out before or after the workout yesterday. Remember how I told you to do that?"

"Seriously, Brain, I'm in a lot of pain here and could use some help."

"Alright, alright. All you need to do is swallow this big "I told you so" pill as well as some IB prophin."

"I hate you so much right now."